Friday evening I was awaken by my wife to learn that my father is in critical condition in the hospital. I took a chance of calling his private nurse to get his state but I couldn’t connect. Early Saturday morning, I learned that he had passed away.

My dad died from pneumonia and had lived 87 years old, a day before Chinese new year.

I was thankful to God for being able to see him last year while vacationing with my family in the Philippines and I will treasure those moments till the day I die. He was weakened by joint pains and was aided by a walker as he could hardly walk. But he still has a clear sense of everything.

Migrating from China before the second world war, he would tell me stories how he lived a very hard life in his adolescent years. He would hold up his tears as he recount how he was treated when he would take more portions for his meal. That incident have carved out a niche in his self esteem. He recounts memories of the spoils of war during the Japanese invasion in the Philippines and how scared everyone was.

He eventually was able to start a small hardware store partnering with a couple of his friends. I started helping in the stores at an early age of 10. I would bring him snacks my mom prepared for him and will stay there. I would stay the whole Saturday. As a kid, I don’t have any kids to play with in my neighborhood, and the store had provided a way for me to be around people.

I eventually honed my technical skills and learned much about construction. Some folks say I should have studied as a civil engineer instead of a chemical engineer as I know a lot about construction.

After 33 years, my dad and his partners have parted ways amid some nasty accusations and other things. We eventually build up a new store close to the old one. Until I left for the Middle East and eventually the States, my sister and I poured out all sweat to build it up.

My dad knew my skills and he let me pursued whatever it is that I have in my heart. He does not approve of me working for other people as he wants me to be in business but his hands are tied. He had to let me grow as a man and explore.

As most pre-baby boomers, most people during that time had very little education. However, he managed to learn and read little English enough to get him to sell merchandises to customers.

If there is any calm demeanor that I may posses, I would credit that to my father. If there is a legacy that I have received from my father, it was how he taught me how to use the proper words to express one’s mind and feelings without necessarily offending anyone as a result. He was always diplomatic.

I have a family of my own now, and sometimes I think if migrating to the States was a wise decision on my part. I could not help but think how it would have turned out if I had just stayed in the Philippines.

For some distinct moments, I questioned myself. Would it made a difference for my own family? I could have probably stayed and spent time with him more. Maybe my wife would not be away from her family as well. I have probably carved out an emptiness in her heart more so to her family. May be I was selfish?

I believe I have made some significant strides in my life in the States. God had taken me to a deeper relationship with Him along the way and had allowed me to be of service to people I meet in business and in life. God is taking me on another phase of life right now in rebuilding myself. I may not even carry his name with me, but God have given me a gift from him, my father’s blood.

I could not resist questioning myself on my actions.

What if?

I remember that day
When I first met her
With grace she moved
And flashed a smile that melt my heart

I knew her heart
Is with someone else
I had to take my chance
And patiently wait

We part our ways but
Soon fate took over and
The angels set the stage
For our heart to be together

We became one
And God blessed us
With two wonderful children
That became living treasures of our hearts

God have a funny way
Of bringing together
Two people of extremes
To meet with Him in the center of life

Our journey was not
Without challenges
But has made our love
For each other, stronger than ever

We’ll tread this path together
With God as our Light and Counsel
My heart belongs to you
Then, now, till heavens with Him!

Melita, I Love You
Happy Anniversary!

It’s that time of the year again in the US when we celebrate Thanksgiving Day.

It’s that day when we gather together as family or with friends in thankful celebration.  Although this year has been a great challenge to most people here and around the world, I believe there is much that we can be thankful for.

I am thankful for the great time that I had this year with my trip back to the Philippines after around 10 years of absence.  I had the chance to see my mom and dad, and my sister.  My in-laws, niece, nephew, old and new friends that I have gained.  It has filled up a void in me that I have not realized I have.

This year has been an eye opener for me and I believe a constructive one.  Pretty much the Good Lord have a way of using November as a critical period of my life.  Many revelations and visions came about during this time of the year during the course of my life.

I am thankful for the Good Lord for giving me a loving wife and wonderful children.  With no relatives here, He gave us a good support with our church family, and friends that became my guide through the early times when I migrated here in the States.

He gave me the trials to shape me up, challenges that I would have given up if not for the faith that grounded me.  The days ahead seems gloomy for most people with the insecurities that the financial crisis have created.  But I look ahead to the bright morning sky, the heartbeat that tells me I am still alive, and the vision He gave me to look forward to.

I am thankful for …

• my wife, still not able to drive because that means I will have the chance to have some quiet time with her on her way to work
• my daughter, for her new car because the family have a new driver
• my son, with the mess that he makes in his room because it tells me he’s being ‘creative’
• my family – my mom and dad, for allowing me to be who I am, exploring and discovering
• my sister – because I don’t have no one else
• my friends – because they make my life colorful
• my clients, who are still trying to figure out when to single click and double click a mouse.

We went to see him at the hospital 2 Sundays ago and he was at coma.  I don’t know about most of you, but going through ICU with all those device is not exactly a welcomed sight to see.  Somehow, I want to hope to get him back.  I remember talking to him and urging him to come back.  My wife and I prayed to God for His will on his life.

We left him after his sister came by to check on him.  Last Tuesday, Arthur gave me a cell call and told me that he’s at code blue stage.  Couple of minutes later, he was gone.

Archie is at what most of us would call mid life.  He’s 39 years old and left behind a family of three.  Archie served in the media ministry with the video team.  He’s one of the camera crew.  His family served the church.  Josh, his son, with the projection during worship and Queenie, his wife, at the worship team.

The first time I met Archie was after church service.  Queenie introduced me to him as he wanted to help out in the video ministry.  His demeanor struck me as qualities you would strive to look from anyone who want to work in a church ministry.  A committed, will do, servant attitude.

He want to learn whatever he can in the video ministry.  We don’t have much actually as far as video facilities but to him, it meant that he is one of the forefront in serving God.  I remember clearly how we talked about sharing God’s gifts and offering it back to Him by serving Him.

I have my regrets on not being able to deliver certain goals we want to achieve as far as the video ministry is concerned.  We talked about producing DVDs, and uploading worship footage to video sites, etc.  I felt bad for not being able to let him see the outcome of his vision.

This took me to a realization upon deep contemplation.  There are gifts that God gave us to serve other people – Christians or not.  Our life mesh with other person’s life.  The life that we have at this moment reflects but a minute instance of God’s overall purpose.  However, with the capabilities that He have empowered us, how are we doing with the stewardship of that talent.  Talent that should be used to serve His children.

If there’s anything that is common to all of us that we have right now that God has given us, it is time.  A simple but complex attribute of life that is at most, taken for granted.

Life, mathematically, is nothing but a quantitative amount of time between birth and death.

The true meaning of life extends that to a complex interaction of time between each other.  No matter what we do, our time affects another person’s time, one way or the other.

I don’t mean to confuse but rather to emphasize a simple point.  Our life is dictated by time.

How we take care of that is up to us.  The life that we have is a miracle, a gift from God.

We will never have the knowledge of when our life would be punctuated, as in a sentence.  But how are we taking care of that ability to use time?

Do we plan to serve someone or God at a later time?  Do we plan to forgive later?  Does the time that we ’spend’ give meaning to our life?

I could go on, and on, and on with this kind of questioning.

Bottom line – the time that we have in our earthly life, we have no control.  But the things that we can do with that time, we have some control.

I don’t mean to over extend that control but rather to enjoy each moment that we have, to do what we must for God’s glory, to serve Him, for the peace of our mind, heart, and soul.

When was the last time you said ‘I love you’ to your loved ones – parents, children, spouse, etc.  Have you forgiven someone who has give you pain or hurt?

Love and forgiveness are just two of the simple things that anyone can give that will bring you peace.  Which God has willingly given and shown to us by Christ death on the cross.

All things come together in God’s time, but what have you been doing with the time that He’s given you?

Papa has been supportive with most of my endeavor.  On my childhood days, I used to go to his hardware store and learn the business.  I used to stay on weekends helping out selling, or doing just about anything to help out.

I took shopper’s orders and prepping them up for delivery.  It can be anything from weighing nails to just bringing anything for customers.

When I last saw him, although a little bit weaker, he could still manage to walk by himself and go to the Park to meet his buddies.  Age has caught up with his struggling childhood during the second World War, his strong body has been weakened quite a bit and being helped out by a private nurse.

I had mixed emotions as I saw him transcend from the stairs being helped out.  I am blessed by God with a good father.  Although he has his weaknesses, like all of us, but he made sure we had a good education and the right ‘tools’ to become successful in life.  He did not want us to take the path that he had growing up.

I don’t know but I sensed that it’s not the same with him.  I think the burden of his weakening body has frustrated him a bit.  Sensing from what he says, I think he feels entrapped in his own home and not being able to go to places he used to go to.  Compound that with the fact that I think most of his friends has now been gone.  So the peer camraderie that he used to have is not there anymore.

I’m grateful to God for being able to have a father like Papa.  If anything else, I think I got the benefit of having similar feature and that’s how most people get to learn about me.

I remember the days of watching soccer with him at Rizal Colizeum.  Even though it’s a boring game for me, I remember how he gets excited with each goal that the team he supports will make.  That’s why next to basketball, soccer has been the next favorite sports for me.

I wanted to become a doctor when I was growing up, but he discouraged me and made me take engineering.  I think it was God’s direction as well.  I do think I could become a doctor, but I don’t think I would be happy doing it.  I have been very technical even at an early age, so I ended up graduating as a Chemical Engineer who then turned to become a computer specialist.

I’m trying to cherish every moment that I had with him now.  Life is like a flickering light.  A blow of the wind could take it away.  Thank you Lord.

I have not been writing for the last month or so.  It has been quite a journey last year.  The last 6 weeks has been quite a blessed, challenging and rewarding time for me. 

Last November, I mention about a visit to my brother in law’s father in law (what a term).  He passed away last 5th of December.  I had mixed reactions because the last time I saw him, I was still hopeful that he could at least get through the Christmas season.  I am thankful to God for the time that I was able to minister to him.  It gave me the courage and confidence to be able to share my life with this man for such a short time.  Even though he is in his dying stages, the experience that I gained helped me more to focus on discovering a strength which I thought was a weakness on my part. 

Christmas was wonderful for me.  I have my wife and two kids this Christmas.  They usually go to the Philippines for the holidays and I usually stay home as the trip gets very expensive during December.  We visited some close friends and ended up having to go to two parties Christmas day.  The following day, I got an email from my son’s basketball family that his coach, Dennis Cho, passed away.  He was a very inspiring coach for my son.  Although he was able to coach him for a little less than two years, it was a good experience for him.  Virginia, his wife, is my son’s teacher in his grade school.

Last week, our pastor’s mother passed away too, from cardiac arrest, and last Sunday, our pastor underwent angioplasty.  Talk about one thing after the other.  It made me more focused on my health as well.

During this past two long weekends, I tried to take a breather on the things that I do and tried to enjoy my family more.  Not too long ago, my children were just kids running around the house but now, my eldest, Sasha is now in her senior year in high school and looking forward to her college next year.  My son just turned 15 last month and is shooting up in height and will soon get past me.

Last Friday while waiting for my tire change at Costco, I decided to jot down the left over things that I need to work on.  Writing things down sure has a way on clearing your mind, and it revealed a lot.  Judging from the list that I wrote, I would be busy for the whole January and may not have the time to at least write my blog.

January usually is the time most people work on their resolutions that never really get to be changed at all.  It’s also the time for fitness awareness after all that thanksgiving turkey, Christmas and New Year parties.  But for the most part, I feel that this is the time to look forward on a determined effort to have an awareness on our health, physically and spiritually.  We should really not wait until our bodies and health breaks down before we do something about it.  A lot of times, we take it for granted.  We worked and worked, forgetting how to take care of our bodies and by the time you know it, an overhaul is required and the bill for the overhaul is more expensive than if we try to maintain and create a healthy lifestyle.  And spiritually, if we don’t take care of the temple of the Holy Spirit, we would not have the opportunity to serve Him to our fullest extent.

So let’s make some changes this year.  Let’s take care of our bodies – our health, our minds, our relationships.  Let’s look to a brighter year ahead of us.

I went to a Mannatech regional meeting/conference at the Los Angeles Hilton Hotel (LAX) last Saturday.  Before the event, I just felt that I needed a break from all of the ‘noise’ that’s going on in my life.  I touched base with my wife’s senior associate and listen to all the speakers on the event.  To make the long story short, what were presented on the meeting was in alignment with the goals that I want to achieve.  From the CEO, the Marketing Team, and Product Dev Team, I could actually see myself in the position of adding value to this orgranization from what I’ve learned this last 2 years.

Then last Sunday at our church, as I was going to make a printout of our pastor’s sermon notes (being part of the media team), I saw two of our members helping our associate pastor on the ground.  I did not recognize him at first.  I did not join the commotion because I saw that he is being attended to at the time.  Seeing him almost lifeless on the ground is enough to knock some senses in my pea size brain.  He was blessed to have several circumstances that allowed him to be among our members during that time.  The paramedics came, was sent to the hospital and had surgical procedures.  One of our members who is a registered nurse told our pastor that during the time that she was attending to him, she felt no more pulse.  He was gone.  But the Good Lord breathe new life into him and he was revived.

Last Wednesday, my wife and I went to visit her brother’s father in law.  He’s a war veteran from the Philippines.  He’s 82 years old and suffering from pancreatic cancer.  His children wish to send him back to the Philippines so we paid him a visit to assess his situation.  He’s blessed to have two wonderful people attending to his needs, Mary and Gloria.  Mary jokingly quip that he’s being attended by a caregiver that is also requiring help herself.  But cheerfully, she led us to see him.  He was very weak and needed to be helped to turn his body around.  Despite his age and the sickness, his mind is very well and is conscious of everything around him.  Before we left, I was moved to pray for him.  I told him that this is the only thing that I could give him at this moment.  Although I was praying for God to give him renewed strength, at the end of my prayer, he responded by saying a prayer for me and my wife.  Here I am trying to pray for God blessing on him, eventually, I was the one who was blessed more.

It made me realized how fragile life truly is.  Not that I don’t but these are moments in one’s life that brings meaning to God’s purpose for our life.  I realized that I have been staying on the sidelines way to long.  It’s about time to celebrate and share with other people the resources and capabilities that He has endowed us.

Life is a journey.  It begins with conception to a birth, ends with state of death and to after life.  Take the time to share with someone what God has given you.  For all we know, it could be a miniscule effort in our part, but it could give humongous effect to another life.

I thank God for the miracle of life, and I celebrate it with Him.